Theresa O’Connor

Four Year Olds, amirite?

written by

Theresa O'Connor

based on a true story

Fade In:

Int. A Bathroom - Day

We're in a typical San Francisco apartment bathroom - pedestal sink, toilet, bath, some cabinets, all white. Daylight shines in through a small window above the bath. Mama, a woman in her forties, is sitting on the toilet.

The door bursts open. EJ, a four year-old, enters.

EJ

Are you pooping, Mama?

Mama

...yes, I am.

EJ

Can I see the poop?

A wave of resignation passes over Mama's face.

Mama

Umm, sure kiddo. Why not.

Mama wipes and stands. EJ excitedly runs to the toilet and looks inside.

EJ

That's a long, stinky poop!

Mama

(washing hands)

I-I suppose it is.

EJ

I'm gonna go tell Mommy about your poop!

Mama

No, Erin. I don't think Mommy wants to know about my poop.

EJ

(dejected)

Ooooookay, Mama.